THE CONTROL
GRADIENT SCALE
From Support to Domination
This scale helps you notice how structure and rules are being used—whether to protect or to dominate.
Control isn't always abuse—and care isn't always safe. This scale helps you notice whether structure supports autonomy or replaces it with obedience.
This is not a test, a diagnosis, or a judgment.
It is a way to orient toward safety, autonomy, and trust.
Healthy Structure
When structure protects freedom and creates safety for everyone. Rules and boundaries are transparent, fair, and shared. Control is used to build trust, not to take power.
The Four Levels
Reflective Assessment
Interactive ToolGo slowly. Your body's response matters.
Choose how you want to use this assessment
Before You Go
Care does not require obedience.
Structure does not require fear.
Your need for autonomy is legitimate.
Some patterns here may reflect neurodivergent processing styles rather than intentional control. Difficulty with flexibility, need for predictability, or overwhelm responses can look like rigidity but come from a different place. Context matters—if someone is genuinely trying to share structure but struggling with adaptability, that is different from someone who punishes autonomy.