Emotional and relationship tools

Start with the question you are already asking.

Choose one real situation: an apology, a boundary, a silence, an angry exchange, a pressured yes, or something that keeps happening between you.

Every tool is free to open without an account. They help you look more closely; they do not diagnose anyone or decide what you should do.

Start here

Which question is closest to what happened?

Choose the question closest to what happened. It does not have to fit perfectly.

Did the apology repair anything?Does their care support your choices?Is it a boundary—or control?Can I be kind without hiding myself?What happens when they get angry?Can I still say no without pressure or debt?

Search the library

Have a different word for it?

Search with the words you already have: an apology, a boundary, silence, anger, control, or a pressured yes.

3 Tools

Repair and accountability

Apologies, accountability, promises, and whether behavior changes.

ApologiesSpotting patternsWhat Happens After They Apologise?Use it to see whether someone names what they did, listens to how it affected you, and changes something after saying sorry.OpenAccountabilityPattern referenceWhat changes after they take responsibility?Look at whether they listen, change their behavior, get defensive, or say the right words while the same harm continues.OpenIntegrityPattern referenceWhat happens when keeping their values has a cost?Compare what they say with what they repeatedly do when honesty, fairness, consent, or repair costs something.Open

5 Tools

Boundaries, harm, and control

Boundaries, distance, help, silence, harm, and saying no.

BoundariesSpotting patternsHow Do They Handle Boundaries?Use it to see whether a limit stands on its own or uses silence, affection, access, or consequences until another person gives in.OpenOne boundarySpotting patternsIs It a Boundary—or Control?Use it to examine one limit: whose behavior it governs, whether freedom remains on both sides, and what happens when you ask, disagree, or say no.OpenControlPattern referenceDoes their help support your choice—or begin replacing it?Look at whether care supports someone's freedom, starts taking over, creates obligation, or removes their room to choose.OpenA need and your noPattern referenceDoes their need leave room for my no?Look at whether their need leaves room for your choice or becomes obligation, guilt, pressure, debt, or obedience.OpenA pauseSpotting patternsIs This Space for Processing—or Pressure to Give In?Look at whether space after conflict preserves both people’s choices and leaves a way to address it—or makes contact conditional on agreement, apology, or surrender.Open

3 Tools

Self-trust and reactions

Your yes, your reaction, self-care, confidence, and hidden cost.

People-pleasingSelf-reflectionAm I Kind—or Am I People-Pleasing?Notice whether care leaves room to take time, disagree, name hurt, ask for help, set a limit, change your mind, or say no.OpenConfidenceSpotting patternsDoes Their Confidence Make Room for Other People?Compare what someone does when other people succeed, correct them, disagree, or do not provide praise.OpenCertainty and disagreementPattern referenceCan other people still question or disagree with them?Look at whether questions remain possible, defensiveness takes over, other views are silenced, or fear is used to force agreement.Open

4 Tools

Responses during conflict

Anger, empathy, feedback, responsibility, power, and repair.

MaturitySpotting patternsWhat Remains Possible When Things Get Difficult?Look at whether they can hear feedback, admit a mistake, consider another account, change behavior, and repair when doing so costs something.OpenSupportSpotting patternsWhich Supportive Behaviors Keep Showing Up?Record repeated evidence around listening, your no, your independence, responsibility, and concrete repair after something goes wrong.OpenEmpathyPattern referenceWhat does someone do with what they understand about your feelings?Use this reference to see whether someone listens and respects choice, pulls away when feelings get difficult, expects repayment for care, or uses private information to control.OpenAngerSpotting patternsWhat Happens When They Get Angry?Use it to see whether someone stays specific, listens, and takes responsibility—or uses anger to create silence, fear, or compliance.Open

Quick answers

Short answers for finding a tool and using it responsibly.

Which tool should I start with?

Start with the word closest to the moment: apology, boundary, silence, anger, hurt, control, repair, people-pleasing, or no. The library search and question list route you from there.

Do I need to know TEG-Blue first?

No. Each tool starts with one situation and can be used on its own. The tools are pattern recognition for emotional clarity, not a theory quiz.

Are these tools free?

Payments are paused while the public tool library is being refined. Use the available tools freely for now.

Are these tools diagnoses?

No. They help you read observable behavior in a specific situation. They do not diagnose a person, provide therapy, or replace care, safety planning, professional support, or legal advice.