TEG-BlueSomeone else’s behaviour
Apologies
Compare whether they acknowledge what they did, listen to the person affected and take action after apologising.
Do They Take Responsibility When They Apologise?Find a tool
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Trust
I feel I can lean on this person here.
Joy
I feel alive. I want to play, move or celebrate.
Confusion
Something doesn’t add up yet.
Disappointment
I was hoping for something that didn’t happen.
Browse all tools by topic
Search for a topic such as apologies, boundaries, anger, confidence or people-pleasing.
3 Tools
Repair and accountability
How people acknowledge harm, act on their values and follow through after an apology.
Explanations and examples
Accountability
Explore how people respond after causing harm: addressing it, defending themselves, using an apology to demand reassurance, or denying the harm and punishing anyone who raises it.
Accountability Gradient ScaleExplanations and examples
Integrity
Explore when people act on their values, stop following them under pressure, or invoke them to avoid criticism and justify control.
Integrity Gradient Scale5 Tools
Boundaries, harm, and control
How people set limits, use authority and respond when someone disagrees or says no.
Someone else’s behaviour
Boundaries
Compare how they set limits and respond to yours, from clear agreements to pressure, threats or punishment.
How Do They Handle Boundaries?Someone else’s behaviour
Boundaries and control
Examine whether someone’s limit sets out what they will do or dictates what you must do, and how they respond when you disagree.
Is It a Boundary—or Control?Explanations and examples
Care and control
Explore how rules, care and authority can support autonomy, become restrictive, apply emotional pressure or enforce obedience.
Control–Care Gradient ScaleExplanations and examples
Expectations of others
Explore the difference between recognising personal needs and claiming a right to another person’s time, care or obedience.
Entitlement Gradient ScaleSomeone else’s behaviour
Distance after conflict
Examine what happens when someone takes distance after a conflict: can the issue be discussed later, or must you give in before they will speak to you?
Is This Space for Processing—or Pressure to Give In?3 Tools
People-pleasing and self-confidence
Consider how you express your needs, or how someone responds to disagreement, mistakes and other people’s achievements.
Your own responses
People-pleasing
Explore whether you can express your needs and limits, or often agree or stay quiet to avoid disapproval or conflict.
Am I People-Pleasing?Someone else’s behaviour
Confidence
Compare their responses to other people’s achievements, to criticism and to their own mistakes.
Does Their Confidence Make Room for Other People?Explanations and examples
Certainty and disagreement
Explore how people express confidence: acknowledging what they do not know, insisting they are right, claiming superiority or intimidating others.
Confidence Gradient Scale6 Tools
Emotions and relationships
How people respond to feelings, offer support and handle conflict.
Someone else’s behaviour
Emotional maturity
Review what you have observed when they receive feedback, make a mistake, disagree or need to repair harm.
Signs of Emotional MaturitySomeone else’s behaviour
Support and respect
Plant green flags on supportive behavior you have seen repeatedly or sometimes. Review listening, choices and responsibility separately.
Which Supportive Behaviors Keep Showing Up?Someone else’s behaviour
Pressure in relationships
Plant red flags on pressure you have observed around disagreement, limits, independence and repair. Empty spaces remain unknown.
Which Harmful Pressures Keep Showing Up?Someone else’s behaviour
Support and pressure
Read supportive behavior and harmful pressure side by side in the same relationship. Green flags do not cancel red flags.
What Do the Green and Red Flags Show Together?Explanations and examples
Empathy
Explore how people respond to feelings: listening with care, dismissing some experiences, making support conditional or using private information to threaten someone.
Empathy Gradient ScaleSomeone else’s behaviour
Anger
Compare how they express anger, respond to disagreement and take responsibility for what they do during and after a conflict.
What Happens When They Get Angry?These tools help you observe and reflect. They do not diagnose anyone, assign personality types or establish someone’s motives.
Quick answers
How to choose a tool and what it can help you understand.
Which tool should I start with?
Choose a question near the top of this page, or search for a subject such as apologies, boundaries or people-pleasing. Each tool description explains what you can examine.
Do I need to know TEG-Blue first?
No. Each tool includes its own explanation, examples and instructions. You can open any tool and use it on its own.
Are these tools free?
Yes. All 17 tools in this library are currently free to use without an account.
Can a tool diagnose me or someone else?
No. The tools help you reflect on your responses, compare behaviour or understand a pattern. They cannot establish a diagnosis, confirm someone’s motives or decide what you should do.