EMOTIONAL TOOLS

The Control—Care Gradient Scale

When Does Protection Become Control?

Care and control can look similar from the outside. This scale helps you notice how structure, rules, and concern are being used—and whether they support freedom or limit it.

Connection Mode

Healthy Structure

Protection Mode

Overprotective Control

Control Mode

Emotional Control

Domination Mode

Remorseless Control

Reflective Assessment

This is not a test or judgment. Move slowly—notice where your body tightens or relaxes.

Transparency & Explanation

When rules or limits are set, are the reasons explained clearly?

Are rules discussed as something shared, or something imposed?

Is feedback or disagreement welcomed?

0 / 17 answered

🧠

Notes for Neurodivergent Folks

Structure can feel different depending on how your nervous system processes predictability. Needing more structure isn't the same as controlling others. Struggling with flexibility isn't the same as domination. Context and intent matter—give yourself room to explore these patterns with curiosity, not judgment.

This scale and assessment are for educational purposes only. They do not provide medical, psychological, or legal advice, and are not a substitute for professional care.