We confuse hurt with harm.
That confusion is the root of most conflict—in relationships, in families, in entire systems.
Understanding the difference changes everything.
The Compass
Your nervous system is always scanning.
Is it safe to connect — or do I need to protect myself?
This question runs beneath every feeling, every reaction, every relationship. The answer shapes what you can perceive, what emotions are available, and whether repair is possible.
Four modes. One gradient.
Where you are determines what you can see, feel, and do.
The same emotion — anger, love, fear, guilt — shows up completely differently depending on your position on this gradient.
This isn't personality. It's state.
And states can shift.
What this explains
Why "knowing better" doesn't stop the reaction.
Why the same person can seem like a different person.
Why connection feels easy sometimes and impossible at others.
Why your patterns make perfect sense — even when they don't serve you anymore.
Enter the Inner Compass
The interactive introduction to the four modes.
Free. Takes about 10 minutes.
Begin →TEG-Blue is for educational purposes only. It does not provide medical, psychological, or legal advice, and is not a substitute for professional care. The framework maps patterns, not diagnoses.