What happened to you matters
Their intention or explanation may add context. It does not erase how their actions affected you.
Green Flags
Notice whether a relationship leaves room for your voice, your limits, and repair when something goes wrong.
Look across several real moments
Support becomes visible in what stays possible.
Think about a partner, friend, relative, colleague, or group. Mark only the behaviors you have seen repeatedly. Leave a row unmarked when you are unsure or have not seen enough.
Evidence marked
0 signals
A check means you have seen this repeatedly. An unmarked row stays unknown.
Listening and difference
Notice whether your experience can remain present when it differs from theirs.
Choice and boundaries
Look at whether care leaves room for your limits, decisions, and other relationships.
Responsibility and follow-through
Notice what happens after a promise, a mistake, or a difficult conversation.
Mark at least one signal to review it.
Keep in view
Words, actions, and what changes
When you are looking at someone else’s repeated behavior, these distinctions matter.
Supportive behavior leaves room for more than calm.
It leaves room for your experience, your no, and the possibility that something difficult can be named without making you pay for it.
Consistency matters more than one unusually good moment.
Respect for a limit matters most when the answer is not what they wanted.
Repair becomes visible in what changes after the words.
You do not have to ignore supportive behavior because no relationship is perfect. You also do not have to use good moments to explain away repeated pressure, punishment, or harm.
A green flag is not a promise. It is one piece of repeated, observable evidence.
Look for what changes
Words matter when they are followed by responsibility, respect for your experience and limits, care, and different behavior over time.
Repetition is information
When the same harm or pressure continues, repeated behavior tells you more than promises, apologies, or claims of understanding.
Quick answers
What is a green flag in a relationship?
A green flag is repeated, observable behavior that leaves room for honesty, choice, boundaries, responsibility, and repair. One good moment may matter, but consistency across different situations tells you more.
Does checking several green flags mean the relationship is safe?
No. The checklist records supportive evidence; it cannot certify the whole relationship or cancel threats, coercion, retaliation, surveillance, punishment, or repeated harm elsewhere.
What does an unmarked row mean?
It means the behavior is still unknown for the situations you considered. This one-mark format records presence only, so an unmarked row is not a No.
Should I judge this from one conversation?
Use several real moments when possible. Notice what happens during disagreement, after a limit, when someone makes a mistake, and after promises or apologies.
Should I start with facts or feelings?
Start with what happened: what was said, done, changed, withheld, repeated, or agreed. Then name what you felt in response. Last, name the meaning you gave the event and ask whether the evidence supports that meaning or another explanation may also fit.